Reply to Excessively dependent mother still completely helpless months after dad's death

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It may be an attention thing.  The more help she requires the more attention she gets.  She's not more self sufficient because there is nothing in it for her to be more self sufficient.  As long as she can get others to do for her, she will keep on demanding that kind of attention.

There is a chance that when she gets around other 80/90 year old women who are doing basic things for themselves and she becomes friends with those ladies, Mom will suddenly want to be competent like her friends are.

I would step back and see how things go. [/quote]

I have some dysfunctional family and we hoped so much that a different setting or different influences might let them break free of the dysfunction. But it doesn't really work, they just carry it with them.  OP's mother has been around competent people her whole life without becoming competent herself, so it's not likely to happen now.

I do think you're right about the attention being part of the attraction for her. Maybe it's some kind of a personality disorder.[/quote]

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