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[quote=Anonymous]I wish I had read "The Bitch in the House" before my kids were born. It might have pushed me to have those hard conversations with DH earlier. Instead, like many women, I ended up resenting him hugely.

I do think a lot of marital problems stem from mutual failure to articulate (or even understand) differing spousal expectations before having kids. For instance, maybe the woman assumes, without ever discussing it, that the man will make the money for the family and that if she ever decides to stay at home, her DH will be fine with it... while the man assumes, without ever discussing it, that both will always be equal breadwinners. Or, conversely, the man assumes that his career is more important because he earns more money, so the woman will be okay with putting her career on the back burner while the kids are young and doing more child care, or moving to a place that is best for his career, or whatever... while the woman assumes both careers matter equally.

This kind of unarticulated clash of assumptions can be a problem in any relationship, of course, with or without children, but I do think that the pressures of parenthood (no sleep, no time, tied to a tiny, helpless creature who needs to be fed and cared for 24/7) can make the resulting problems far more existential.[/quote]

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