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[quote=Anonymous]Child of cheater divorce where dad ended up with affair partner.  My ex also cheated and we divorced, although he didn't end up with AP.

I think I understand your feelings OP.  But for the sake of the kids, take the high road.  Treat her politely and coldly.  The person who *really* deserves your hate is the person who took a vow to you and broke it.  Not so much the OW although what she did is contemptible, I agree.

Make it easier on your kids.  Do not bad mouth them.  Take the high road.  One day they will figure out who the bad guy is and they will appreciate what it must have cost you to swallow this bitter pill.

My mom is still angry and bitter after 30 years and I'm tired of listening to her bad mouth my dad and his wife.  I can't make him not my dad (and don't want to) and therefore I *have* to forgive him and accept his wife if I want him in my life.  My mother always makes me feel disloyal for loving my dad.  It's a terrible position to be in and makes me want to see her less.  And I'm almost 50.

I love my mom too and I have huge sympathy for what she went through.  I went through a lot of it too!  But I was even more determined based on this to NOT poison my kids and drag them into it.

Their actions speak for themselves.  You don't need to criticize.  Although sure, I might let a few rumors get around (evil grin).  Just don't do anything to make situations more awkward for your kids than they already are.  I am so tired of every birthday, wedding, shower, whatever being emotionally fraught.  I include my cheating ex in all kid related holidays and even let him come on vacation with us!  Because that was best for my kids and their relationship with their dad.

It's hard.  Get a therapist and vent to friends.  Not your kids.  [/quote]

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