Reply to Anyone have a Kid who didn't date at all in highschool?

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[quote=Anonymous]How are people defining "dating" here?!  There's talk of kissing and making out and even hook up sex yet this doesn't count as dating?  And in this century who thinks that dating as a teen has anything to do with choosing someone to marry???  You have normal biological urges to be close, emotionally and physically, with others at that age.  It's all new and exciting and absolutely a healthy developmental stage during the high school/teen years.

I worry about kids not dating in high school while there are parameters and parents are close by to give guidance as kids learn to navigate relationship issues.  When you're off at college, you have no safety rails to get yourself out of sticky situations, especially when it comes to physical intimacy.  It can go from zero to 60 the first time you meet someone because you don't have a curfew or a parent on her way to pick you up from the party. Figuring out how to engage romantically takes some practice and there are lots of mistakes to make along the way before you're out on your own. Taking baby steps is better than being thrown into the deep end.

And beyond the sex part, kids need guidance on how they deserve to be treated in a romantic relationship.  I spent last weekend driving around my child and some school friends.  One of the boys is trying to break up with a very manipulative girl who is now basically stalking him. I'm glad that he's not figuring this out on his own without adults and his parents around to help him through it. When he is off at college he'll have this experience under his belt and hopefully will be equipped to handle these situations.

And FWIW, I went to college at one of the most selective colleges in the country and did well there. Went on to get a grad degree from another top school. I had boyfriends throughout high school and throughout college, as did most of my super smart and popular classmates.  Those who didn't have actual public relationships in college were mostly having "on the down low" hook up sex sorts of experiences that I don't think are very healthy.[/quote]

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