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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH is a calm person, but he makes me angry.  I don't know what to do because I have a problem, but only with him.  I never get angry at my co-workers, friends, or children.

Today I had separated all these clothes and toys to give away.  My husband threw them in the trash.  I was angry.  And, he didn't tell me.  I happened to come home and see them in the trash.  In his eyes, I was going to get rid of them, so what does it matter how he got rid of them?  But that makes me angrier.  Then he said that I make everything into a big deal and that made me even angrier.  And then he started telling me that it was fine and that he'd take it out of the trash, but in a calm emotionless voice.  That made me angrier.

I was yelling on our front porch so loud that my neighbor called the police.  There was a male and female officer and they separated us.  The female police officer was nice and sympathized with me and said she used to be like me, too, but now she stays calm and says "you should have communicated with me" calmly.  She understood how him not engaging made it worse, but said that [b]I'm the problem and need to go for anger management. [/b] Part of me feels like she is right and I should get help.  But, part of me feels like she doesn't know my husband.  He does this on purpose, or he doesn't understand the difference between giving away something and trashing it.

Does anyone else have an emotionless husband?  Could this be Asperger's?  How do you handle?  Does counseling help with Asperger's?  We've been to it before and I felt like we didn't make progress but I am willing to try it again.  Should I go to anger management?  What is that?

We have a good relationship, but I would say that these fights happen once a month.  Sometimes they are more upsetting than others.  This was the first time that the police were called, but we never fight outside.  When things like this happened before, I assumed that my husband made a mistake and confused it with trash and took it out or let it go and never said anything to him.  Now, that I do say something to him, I know that he is doing it purposefully.  I love him but I am afraid he is going to send me to the mental hospital.  I need help.
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The bolded. Your husband knows he is on a sinking ship/will never win so he has given up/is disengaging. He is matching your rage with apathy and I would too.

+ Dear god, poor police officers. They are truly in a Jack-of-all-trades position. Safe a life here. Pull a gun and kill that guy there. Gently counsel this adult couple- who should know better- on how to behave. 
Get your sh!t together so other adults don't have to break up your rows. Does this seem like an appropriate use of tax payer money? To get so angry that you lose your ability to communicate so badly that others are in fear for the both of you?[/quote]

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