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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP- I'm also an adult (35) only child of a single mom with a small extended family. Im now married and have 4 kids of my own.

After reading your last post, I think you are much more sensitive to this than most of us since you are faced with your DH's great relationship with his family every day! This would make me sad, too. I've actually had to cool it on some friendships with wonderful women just because I would feel such sadness and jealousy when they shared about their sisters helping with the kids, big family holidays, and beach vacations packed with cousins. I get it, I do.

However, what has really helped me (other than about 3 years of monthly therapy!) is 1. focusing on the blessings of my own nuclear family (Thank God I have my children and my DH!!) and 2. focusing on the fact that we're not given all the blessings in life, there are always some good things and some bad things about our life. For me, I have a wonderful DH who makes good money which has caused me to rise much above my humble lower middle class raising and experience the world much more than I ever dreamed. I have four healthy children, and friends who are like family. I do not have a stable, emotionally healthy mother or a large extended family, but I can't control that. Holidays are often annoying and depressing as I do most of the work for my nuclear family while my flakey mom and depressive inlaws float in and out. It is what it is.

I wish we were friends in real life so we could discuss this more! I don't know anyone in my day to day life who is like me so I just dont talk about, but I do think about it fairly often. In part, I've had so many kids because I dream to create the family life for them that I never had to the best of my ability.

Good luck. Therapy can help. [/quote]

This made my day. Thank you!!! I feel exactly the same way about holidays. I’ve also had multiple children to create the family life I never had. Currently have 3 (all <5y) and their relationship with each other makes my heart sing. Would love a 4th but not sure I have the energy.

I put in a call to a therapist. [/quote]

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