Reply to Where do you think mean kids get it from?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Anonymous wrote:
I think it comes down to the preschool teachers. I have seen nice and mean kids come from super nice parents and jerky parents, WAHM and SAHMs.

If the preschool teachers take a more Americanized approach of let them work it out, lord of the flies emerges. The aggressive natured kids get emotionally rewarded for relational aggression. The target kids try to avoid it the best they can and withdraw which makes them more of a target. It becomes a learned behavior.

If you have a preschool or daycare teacher that immediately stops the kids from behaving aggressive the ones with this nature don't get the reward. I used to think it was overkill how the preschool teachers in my kids class would stop everything if a kid did something not nice to another kid. They would get them all into a circle and then talk about the action was not nice and how important it is to be nice to each other. I tell you years later the kids from those classes are all pretty nice even though the parents ran the gamut. The teachers were middle eastern or Indian so I think it was more their cultural approach than a teaching philosophy of the school.

Seriously?! WTH![/quote]

Actually if you read up on relational aggression in early childhood you will see that it is very much a learned behavior. Kid (A) is mean to kid (B). Kid (A) receives no consequences, gets what they want and feels good. Kid (A) subconsciously gets rewarded for the aggression and uses it again with the same results. It becomes part of their social skill set. As they enter new situations or feel insecure they will fall back on that learned tool set.

This starts in non-sibling group dynamics which for most young kids actually is preschool or daycare. 
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