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[quote=Anonymous]Op, we have 4 kids and similar HHI as you. I totally get where you are coming from (I pushed my DH to have #4 - we had always talked about 3 and maybe 4). I also totally get where your DH is coming from - the reality of our life (and by “our” i mean my family) is that while we never worry about paying our monthly bills and we are saving for retirement, we still have to be careful about big expenses. So we don’t drive luxury cars, we stress about replacing our roof i a few years ($20K) or a new AC unit ($10K) and we do modest vacations.

I am not going to go into the minutiae of our finances, but a huge portion of our income right now goes to childcare and private school to until. For one of our kids - about $13K each month. These costs will go down for us in 3 years, at which point we will start aggressively saving for retirement and probably splurge more on vacations, etc.

It sounds ridiculous, but there are moments where my DH and i look st each other and wonder how we can make so much money and not feel “rich” because our lifestyle in nice but not excessive. I look at our four kids, and I know they are what makes us “rich” - not in some cheesy way, bu literally, it is a luxury to be a el to afford a house and activities and childcare in our area in DC.

You and your DH have to agree about whether or not you want to spend the $$ on another child. For us it was worth it, but we are in a minority in our neighborhood.[/quote]

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