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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s a PITA to deal with travel and emergencies with 4. I have 3, my sister has 5. We have considered a 4th many times, but as our youngest gets older (she’s 2.5), we’re more and more at peace with “only” 3.  It’s already difficult with vacation planning, getting a suite instead of a regular hotel room (or getting two separate rooms).  Getting an Uber or regular taxi in a pinch is more difficult. It’s still doable, but it’s just more, and not in a fun way.  These reasons alone may not be enough to nix having a 4th, but there examples of many inconveniences that I certainly didn’t think about when we were making #3.

Reading your post, though, OP, the only reason you need is that DH isn’t on board.  It’s not that his feelings are more important than yours, it’s that you both can deal with your resentment as adults, but if he’s the one that gets the resentment, in this scenario, there’s another child that has to deal with it.[/quote]

I'm not sure it's wise to base the decision on inconveniences like uber or hotel rooms...particularly with a HHI of $500k.

We have 4 kids. We travel a lot, and we either rent a suite, villa or two hotel rooms. And we've never used uber (rent a car, hire a driver, get a minivan/SUV taxi, etc.). And our HHI is *only* $250ish.[/quote]

I cannot imagine 4 kids in this area on that income.  We have that income and I don't get how you pay for college and to me to have kids today and not pay on that kind of income is very selfish.  [/quote]

The mortgage on our 5 bedroom colonial in MoCo is very low since we got lucky with the market when we traded up. (Lived frugally and saved for a big down payment on our starter home; worked since HS and during college, so we both had little nest eggs and investments starting young).

Our kids go to excellent public schools. (Zero tuition)

We never really had childcare costs since the grandparents were local (just typical 1/2 day nursery school and pre-k).

We didn't have student loans (parents paid for college, spouse paid for grad school for the other spouse---married younger than most in dcumlandia) and we have no debt other than the super low mortgage and one modest car payment.

One of us has a traditional pension; the other has a quasi pension. Plus, we're saving for retirement. Lots of investments.

One of us has a union/government type job, so our family has Cadillac health insurance. (Think: no deductible, $10 copays, zero costs to have a baby or surgery, prescriptions are $8, etc.).

We will inherit some money, and the grandparents are contributing to college savings. We went to state schools, and I hope our kids realize there's no need to spend $200k+ on college when UMCP still costs pennies comparatively speaking.

I think it's interesting that you assumed our financial situation is the same as yours simply based on HHI.

We travel. We have fun. The kids do a lot of activities and sports. We're frugal, but we have nice stuff. We don't worry about money.

There's really no need for you to believe we're selfish for bringing 4 kids into the world.

[/quote]

But, can you pay cash for 4 kids at UMD.  If you didn't do the prepaid, the cost is still easily $100-130K per child depending on major, where they live, etc.  We did the prepaid so its been long paid for and have a 529 for room and board, but I still cannot see doing it with 4 kids.    But, since we don't have cash in hand, I'm not planning for inheritance or grandparents helping.[/quote]
DP, but yes.  I live in virginia (Arlington) with 4 kids and have over $200k per kid for them to go to college (in addition to buying them prepaids).  Our HHI is about $250k a year.  Its just about prioritizing things.  We don't have a maid, I do my own laundry, I still work full time (which  Iwould want to anyways).  Stop projecting your money situation onto others.  [/quote]

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