Reply to I think I physically can't have sex anymore

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I think I physically can't have sex anymore"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Curious as to what pelvic floor PT involves! [/quote]

For me, it turned out that several of my muscles that connected my perineum to the inside of my hip bone were unbelievably tight. It was causing a lot of pain, especially during sex, and making it impossible to use the bathroom without splinting (supporting the perineum). We also discovered that I had an incredibly tight and effed up muscle deep inside my glute, which we think is where my first kid’s head was pressing through a very long and traumatic labor seven years ago! (My pelvis was tilted for SEVEN YEARS, I had to wear a shoe lift on one side, my whole body was thrown off...) Anyway, the solution for me was a lot of internal work from my amazing PT, which is exactly what it sounds like — a lot of really intense deep tissue massage from within the vagina. Let me tell you, someone rubbing your hip joint from the inside is...weird. But it was amazing, I can have sex without pain, I can use the toilet like a big girl, and I can wear shoes without orthotics! I swear by pelvic floor PT. [/quote]

This is really interesting, because I’ve had a similar issue since giving birth several years ago with everything being incredibly tight and sex sometimes being difficult or painful because the vagina/pelvis is so tight. I have never been able to figure out what could be causing this and my OB says everything looks totally normal. I don’t have any bathroom issues or gait issues, but for example I cannot get the smallest size menstrual cup to work because is is too tight inside and the cup is too big to fit comfortably. I will be looking into PT, thank you for the post. [/quote]

NP here.

Get thee to PT! Also get yourself a new OB/GYN or midwife that is going to take you seriously.

So here's my story. Gave birth, 6 hours of labor total, 2 of those pushing because baby's head was tilted. 2nd degree tear. No gait or incontinence issues.

When we finally attempted sex about 3 months PP (because I'll be perfectly frank: I was [i]terrified[/i] of the thought of sex! And even when we did, I was so damn scared) and it was horrible. So painful, I was in tears. Repeat a few more times. Went to my midwife at 8 months and said "help!" She said I looked fine, but an internal exam revealed significant scar tissue about halfway up the left side of my vaginal wall. Off to PT I went. Yeah, it's not tons of fun having someone (a woman) put her fingers up there and massage out scar tissue, but it worked.

So that put me at about 1 year PP. Sex still sucked. We fumbled through the rare attempt, all frustration on his end, physical and emotional pain on mine. We would go MONTHS without sex. The mere thought of him suggesting it gave me mild panic attacks. This, my friends, is not functional or sustainable.

Cue my annual exam, now 2 years postpartum. I tell my midwife about the problems. Sure, the internal scarring seems to have been addressed, but I'm so damn tight at the entrance, it's made our sex life virtually non-existent. She sends me to a different PT.

HOLY CRAP WHAT AN AMAZING DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE. Unbeknownst to me, my right side was a hot mess of muscle dysfunction. Sure, my glutes hurt, but I had a baby! I'm nearly 40! Oh no, this, this was well beyond normal. Nothing was working like it should, and the result was muscles that were so tightly wound that it took weeks to get back to functioning properly. Once we got my glutes, hamstring, and all that stuff back to normal, my pelvic floor wasn't quite so tight.

And once my pelvic floor wasn't quite so tight and constantly being yanked to one side, we could start doing some internal work, teaching to muscles how to relax again, how to react to pressure, how to stretch without pain or having spasms.

I'm still working with my physical therapist on internal work. Sex isn't what it was before baby was born, but I've gone from basically impossible because of the pain to mild discomfort that I can deal with. Hopefully, with continued work, sex can once again return to something 100% enjoyable.

I wish I hadn't waited so long to say something is wrong, both at 8 months and again at 2 years. I wish I hadn't suffered, hoping to power through and one day things would miraculously be better. It's done incredible damage to my mental health, to my marriage, and probably to my husband's mental health. We're just now coming out of this difficult period. Getting the hip stuff alone addressed has made a tremendous difference in my life--I'm not in constant discomfort all day. I can actually do several hours in the car without being in pain and then suffering excessive tightness for several days afterward. And of course, slowly working with DH to reestablish a meaningful, rewarding physical relationship.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics