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[quote=Anonymous]I am baffled by the people who feel the MIL is in the right on this and the DW should drop everything to cater to the party demands.

IF the MIL truly wanted this family invited to this celebration she would have contacted them far in advance. IF she wants others to keep a weekend free for celebrations than she needs to determine what weekend that is like the "3rd Saturday in July" will be FIL BDay weekend. Even then though that does not mean no other plans can ever ever be made.

Families change, family needs change, kids join sports or camps or work comes up, another parent is in the hospital, or a friend from Europe is only in town that week, there are a million things that come up.

It is quite clear that the MIL does not really want this family at the celebration. She just wants to b!tch when they can't make it. 
The OP appears to be scared to stand up to his mom, initiate any conversation about the upcoming OMG best party of the year that they just can't miss and feels less favored than his brother. 
There are clearly family issues that he doesn't to address and would rather make his DW out to be this horrible person who "GASP" planned something (on a free weekend since MIL had not yet confirmed the date) for the kids to do and informed him of it! The NERVE!!!! Didn't she KNOW his MOMMY would be calling to give the usual 24 hour notice that the family must attend her party. 
Is she the Queen of England? [/quote]

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