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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Going through the same thing with my almost 7 year old son. DH and I aren’t handling it well at. all. Guess we aren’t the progressive, educated type that DCUM talks about.

From age 1-4, DS was into stereotypical boy stuff - cars, trucks, trains. Then flipped a switch right when he started K at 5 and decided he liked “girl” stuff instead. Initially we went with it, but over time it started to get borderline bizarre and unhealthy. We felt like we were being irresponsible by allowing this to happen, so we’ve forbidden certain things. I often wonder if we are harming DS in the long run with our stricter approach, but I wondered the same thing when we were much more relaxed with the gender nonconformity behaviors. I wish every day that DS would just “blend in” with the rest of the typical little boys because regardless of what anyone says on DCUM, being transgender or even gay will make his life so much harder. His life will already be hard as a minority with ADHD and other LDs. Add to that we have limited financial resources, so he’s not getting the best of education, community, etc. And yes I know, parental love and support is a buffer. I’m sure I will be judged severely for my post, but it’s easy to say what we should do when you’re not in our shoes and don’t experience the hardships of our demographics (poor, minority, ADHD, LDs).[/quote]

Sorry, not able to get behind you here. First, liking girl stuff is different from being a girl. Has he indicated that he doesn’t feel like he’s a boy or that he does feel like a girl? He might just be into princesses or ponies or whatever. I assume he’s in some kind of therapy for his LDs or adhd, so you could ask his therapist for advice. Think about the message you’re sending him by taking away the things he enjoys most (which sound like they’re harmless, not like guns or fireworks), and telling him he’s wrong to want to play with them. Think about the message you’re sending about gender roles and gender equality. It seems like it would be hard to say respect women and women are as good as men, but don’t play with girl stuff because it’s different and shameful.

I’m not a minority, and we’re middle class, but we have other adversities including ultra conservative family members who severed ties after my son came out as trans. He has adhd, ASD, anxiety and ocd. It’s not easy but he’s a happier kid after coming out and being supported and accepted for who he is by people who love him. When he was repressing his trans feelings, his anxiety was off the charts, he developed depression, and all his other symptoms were worse across the board. I think he was so stressed out from hiding himself from the world that he couldn’t focus on anything else, and there was no room to control or cope with his asd and adhd issues. It affects all aspects of life, and depending on how it’s dealt with, those effects can be very positive or very negative. [/quote]

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