Reply to Parents visiting -- Am I right to be upset about this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. A few things that I wanted to point out:

- This thread has made me realize my jealously is a bigger issue than I thought. I've been in therapy on and off over the years, but it may be a good idea to start again.

- Growing up, I always felt like my Mom was loving and caring. [b]It's only been the case in recent years that I've felt not prioritized.[/b] For what it's worth, I've talked to my sisters in the past about this, and they feel similarly, but for different reasons.

- To be honest, I'm proud of the work that my Mom does, and I know it's important, but I do sometimes feel (as other posters have mentioned) that she prioritizes her work over her family. What's gnawing at me in this situation is that I hadn't ever heard her mention this student until yesterday, and she only started with the "oh, I must see her play, it's so important," talk once I brought up that having dinner at 8:30 wouldn't work for us. It just sounds like she's more interested in making sure this student is happy as opposed to her own daughter.

- Another issue is that when DH and I go up to visit my parents, [b]we'll do things on our own[/b] (ex. see High School friends of mine), but we always make an effort to work around my parent's schedule and spend time with them, and its frustrating that they can't do the same.

- It may be irrelevant, but this isn't a one time performance, this student has been in residence at this program for several months. [/quote]

Okay, I have very little sympathy for you.  You are an adult.  You are married, you live in your own home, and you live six hours away.  It is totally reasonable that your mother does not prioritize you in the same way that she did when you were a child.  I think you need to mature and figure out how to relate to your mom as an adult.  She has her own life and obligations now, which is normal and healthy.

Also, she is literally doing exactly what you do when you visit her.  There is no reason that you HAVE to cook dinner on Friday night as opposed to Saturday night, which, honestly, sounds like it would be better for everyone (you guys could attend SIL's birthday, after all).  It's a six-hour drive, so it makes sense that, while your mom might not make a special trip just to see this student, she would take advantage of being in town to see her and support her.  [/quote]

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