Reply to s/o Why so much delusion by parents of adult kids around "big happy family get togethers"

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Reply to "s/o Why so much delusion by parents of adult kids around "big happy family get togethers""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They would go just fine if everyone who attends did the following:
1) make your own accommodations -or accept whatever you get
2) it's not about you, you are doing this for your parents and children not for yourself - deal with it for a few days
3) three days max 
4) if you and/or your children have dietary needs, it's your responsibility to ensure they are met
5) no pets - as in guests do not get to bring pets
6)it's ok for you and others to not partake in every activity 
7) feel free to quietly slip away and take time to yourself but do not leave your children for others to care for
8) it's not your house, your rules - whatever they may be-do not apply
9) your not on vacation, get up and help

That's just the basics but it goes a long way

[/quote]

NP here.  Stumbled across this thread, and it's hitting  home.  Those are good ground rules.  Goes both ways though.  The grandparents/planners need to be realistic.  I would love to stay no more than three days, stay in a different hotel down the road, and be allowed to slip out on my own as needed (with my kids).  I'm pretty sure none of that would be well-received.  My parents are lovely people but family situations bring out our most irrational, immature, and needy impulses.  I know it does for me.  I think it does for them too.  Right now I feel like I'm already the black sheep and am scared to rock the boat further.[/quote]

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