Reply to Not Going to Close Relatives Funeral

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not selfish. I don't need to attend a funeral to show "respect." No one is required to attend a funeral. This is doubly true if they are uncomfortable in that setting. Many people are. Traditional funerals are depressing and creepy. I am one who doesn't want the last memory I have of the person to be in that setting. And there is nothing wrong with that.

There is nothing helpful to anyone at a funeral that can't be provided outside that setting: cards, flowers, bringing meals, taking family members out, helping with other tasks.

I get that people feel differently about the purpose of the event and what an individual takes out of it, but that is not the case for everyone. And it doesn't mean it's "selfish."[/quote]

It is selfish. You go to a funeral to show support for the immediate family members/spouse affected. 
Just go. Don’t go up to the coffin, sit in the back, don’t engage in the parts that are uncomfortable for you, but be present for our loved ones. Or just go and hug the family members affected, say something loving, then quietly duck out the back.

You need to at least make an appearance. Otherwise you are putting your discomfort over their grief. You are putting your feelings first. You are being selfish. [/quote]

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