Reply to Parents being pushy about staying at our new house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your parents can't stay NEITHER can hers.

You can't play favorites, if she wants it this way then she can't have her parents stay either.

Either they all can or none can. [/quote]

Maybe her parents are respectful, don’t insult them, are actually helpful around the house rather than making more work, understand boundaries, and wouldn’t dream of inviting themselves over let alone insisting on it.

But if they’re equally rude and annoying then yes, they should get equal treatment.[/quote]

OP said NOTHING about his parents doing these things, other than his mother made some comments that apparently inadvertently hurt his wife's feelings.  The problem here is that OP never said NO.  He said that they didn't have a bed and suggested that his parents BUY THEM A BED, which it is totally reasonable to interpret as saying that they DO want to host his parents, and making it sound like this is a logistical problem that the parents can solve.  When the parents (unintentionally) called his bluff by offering to bring a new bed with them, he found himself backed into a corner.  This is 100 percent on him.

He needs to tell his parents that they are not welcome to stay, and then take the heat that will follow.  It's not at all clear that he or his wife ever told his mother that her comments were hurtful (he said that "he knows" that they hurt his wife's feelings, and "thinks" that his mother would think they were innocent--none of that suggests that they ever talked about this) so this is probably going to come out of left field for them, and they are going to be really hurt and shocked and offended (and pissed that OP tried to get a free bed out of them that he had no intention of letting them use).  And that's on him, too.

And you can't tell them that you aren't having overnight guests at all unless you actually plan on never having overnight guests, because they will find out eventually that you let your wife's parents or whoever stay, and then you'll just have to deal with this then.  [/quote]

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