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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He thinks the mom living 10 miles away is a complication   [i]Where did I say this? But in terms of school commuting, it is a little bit. [/i]
[u]
First post ... complication... mom moved 10 miles away.[/u]

He does not want 100% custody so he can date.   [i]No, I don't want 100% custody because my STBX and I agreed that the kids should spend 50% of the time with each parent. This was a mutual agreement, not something a court ordered. The challenge is my daughter won't agree to it.[/i]
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You wrote don't get me wrong... i love my daughter... but with 50/50 the upside is adult time. [/u]

He wants to leave a 17 yo girl home alone when he travels. [i]No, I was just asking what to do if she refuses to be with her mother. Work travel isn't by choice -- it's a logistical issue. So sounds like I will arrange for her to stay with friends.[/i]
[u]
is my 16 yo -- near 17 yo -- old enough to stay in my house alone?[/u]

He wants to have sleep overs with girlfiends when his daughter is there. [i]I don't understand these people who insist I cannot have a life.[/i]
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I don't understand why a "life" included introducing your daughter to string of girlfriends. Don't bring women home... PERIOD[/u]
He wants to cut child support. [i]Yes, but only because my oldest daughter is going to live with me 100% of the time. It isn't some random desire to cheat my kids out of any money.[/i]
[u]
It affects your daughters ability to eventually forgive her mom. Forgiveness is not for her mom.. it's for your own daughters mental stability. I do not condone cheating, I have never cheated but I do know anger and resentment are things that will hurt your daughter.[/u]

He doesn't make his daughter go to her mom's even though there is 50/50 custody. [i]Do you have teenagers? How do you "make" a teenager do something like this she doesn't want to do. Why would it be good for my daughter to MAKE her spend time with her mother, who she detests? I have her in intensive therapy now in the hopes that she can make progress to repairing her relationship with her mother, but I cannot force that to happen. I have strongly ENCOURAGED her to do this and the impact has been to have DD become furious with me and announce I'm not being supportive of her. But I completely resent your assertion that I'm somehow failing to "make" her to this.  Not to mention the inherent contradiction in your litany of bizarre takeaways from my post -- so I simultaneously don't want 100% custody so I can date but I'm also at fault for not MAKING my daughter spend half her time with her mother? Come on, pick a complaint already.[/i][/quote]

[u] I have teens and young adults and their father has PTSD and their best friends father died and sometimes they did not want to be around them but adulting means you teach your children the right thing to do not what feels good in the moment. Is there an aunt that can help you with this/[/u]

I get it ... you got screwed ... you are a good guy and you are right at the end of the marathon... don't f it up now.

You have 2 more years to do the right thing.  This daughter is your priority... not work, not dating... nothing. You might have to adjust how much you travel... it's called mommy tracking. [/quote]

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