Reply to DD’s friend suspended for drugs; Disinvite?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I read this thread from a different perspective than many who are talking about tbe impact of ostracizing a girl who vaped weed.

I was in an abusive relationship and a relationship where alcoholism was an issue, which has made me sensitive to the need to draw boundaries to protect ourselves and [b]the ways in which social pressures to be nice, non-judgmental and inclusive pressure us to continue to expose ourselves to unhealthy people or feel responsible for mitigating others bad choices.[/b]

The girl who vaped weed and charged for it did something illegal and promoted unhealthy behavior among her peers.  There are consequences for that.  Everyone gets to decide on their own how they feel about it personally, but for me, I get to decide what kind of home environment I want and people whom I know to do drugs are not welcome in that environment.  The DD’s (and everyone’s) worry about what is the vape girl going to do at the party is so [b]reminiscent of how families get wrapped up in what is the alcoholic going to do.[/b]

For me, I would use this to teach healthy boundaries.  I’d say I know that the girl did something wrong and that she’s young, so i don’t view her as a bad person, but that I also don’t feel comfortable having someone in my home who is a known drug user.  My boundary would be that DD could still have a relationship/contact with the girl in ways that were not in my home and not private and always supervised by adults.  Her behavior has resulted in a loss of trust that is a necessity for access to independent activities and privacy and being welcomed into people’s homes. It takes time to earn that back through exhibiting changed behavior. [/quote]

I’m OP. This really resonated with me as a result of some family background issues. Thank you for sharing. [/quote]

No one is saying that your dd has to CONTINUE to hang out with someone who CONTINUES to vape or smoke weed or whatever. She does NOT.  But I can't believe uninviting her is even on the table. Is this how your parents raised YOU, OP?  To think that is even a thing to do???[/quote]

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