Reply to Tweens dropping one friend from the group

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why the gender secrecy?

Ask your son or daughter if he/she has issues with the excluded kid. That should be a good indicator of the direction you (and DC) should take.

If your kid doesn’t have a problem with the excluded kid, this could be a teachable moment about going along with the pack vs individual opinion. I’m not saying you should tell your kid to take the moral high ground at the risk of social ostracism, but it could be a good conversation starter.

If your kid still likes the excluded kid, maybe suggest he/she make plans just the 2 of them.

If it turns out there are reasons the group is distancing themselves from the other kid, have a conversation about diplomacy and being sensitive to other people’s feelings (even when that person is being crappy).

Either way, I think being totally hands-off isn’t the answer. You don’t have to helicopter, but you can guide your kid to be socially sensitive. Have a dialogue about handling difficult people, or how to tactfully distance yourself from difficult people (even adults have to deal with this). Or, if it’s a mean girl (boy) situation, have a dialogue about social pressure and the whole queen bee thing, and standing up when your friends aren’t being decent. [/quote]

The gender secrecy is because anytime a child is excluded, certain people always jump to the conclusion of "mean girls"... boys can be jerks to each other too.[/quote]

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