Reply to How to explain to MIL why she doesn’t get to visit as much as my my mom does

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[quote=Anonymous]The ONLY people that you ever need to be completely equal with are your children. This is it.

I don't know why people let themselves get manipulated into thinking that grandparents have to be equal. Life doesn't work this way.

OP's mother is more helpful, pleasant to be around and isn't a burdensome guest.  OP's MIL plops herself into a chair and becomes someone that the OP need to tend to when she is there. In addition, OP has to be on guard because MIL judges her and criticized her parenting and hosting.

I'm in the same situation but reversed. My MIL is great. She is not a burden as a house guest at all. She fits into whatever the flow is and can do her own thing. She comes frequently and it never feels like she overstayed. She knows she has an open invitation to come whenever she wants.

My own mother is a PITA. Expects to be waited on, house has to be immaculate (she even walks through to inspect), expects that we will take time off from wok and have lots of activities planned for her, and she gets to be treated "like a princess" because "she has earned that right".. There is nothing enjoyable about her visits. My mother used to complain that MIL came more frequently too so we just make sure not to tell my mother how often she comes. [/quote]

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