Reply to People are really miffed that we're not finding out the sex

Forum Index » Expectant and Postpartum Moms

Reply to "People are really miffed that we're not finding out the sex"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL, my best friend, my cousin and even a few friends and coworkers are acting downright miffed that we are not finding out the sex of the baby before birth. I don't think of this as a big deal at all, but some are complaining that "we can't buy you anything," etc. First off, we'd love gender neutral clothes and nursery items, and our registry has lots of those types of items at every price point. Secondly, we don't expect any gifts, and if people want to wait after the birth to bring a gift, that would be totally fine.

I just find it odd that people are having such a strong reaction to something I don't think is that big of a deal, or all that uncommon. My cousin especially is, "Oh I could NEVER, I'm such a PLANNER, how can you leave it this late?" But there's nothing on our list that we can't or haven't done or planned. The nursery is set up, we've got clothing and blankets and books and toys ready to go...why do people seem to think you can't "plan" with yellow ducks vs. pink bears? I honestly don't get it.

[b]And no, I'm not one of those smug "we're waiting to be surprisssssed and this is one of the last surpriiiiiseeesss in life and aren't we special" moms.[/b] I've seen those in action, I think they're obnoxious, and I'm not coming from that place.

Did anyone else face a strong reaction? How did you manage it? Just ignore? [/quote]

How to equate not wanting to know because you do want it to be a surprise to being smug?  We didn't want to find out and we just told people we didn't know.  It wasn't because of me thinking I was special it was truly I wanted to be surprised at delivery?  I don't know why that would make me obnoxious?  I personally believe the big reveals are more obnoxious.[/quote]

I didn't find out, but I know there are smug-not-finder-outers out there, and they are annoying. It's the difference between this:

"I don't know; we're not finding out. Did you guys find out with Kevin?"

and

"Oh, we don't know, we're not finding out, it's a suprprise. We just feel like there aren't enough mysteries and true surprises left in the world.[b] It's important to us to have this experience be as organic as possible[/b], and we just think that God meant for it to be one of the biggest and best surprises in life."[/quote]

Personally, i think you and the op are too judgmental.  I found that when people asked me and I gave the first example they wanted to know WHY.  So, while we didn't mention God ( not that there is anything wrong)people kept asking so we came up with it being like Christmas morning and one of the last surprises you get as an adult.  We didn't volunteer it unless they pushed.

Either way, I didn't think I was special or obnoxious and frankly I don't see much of a difference in the two responses except your reaction and judgement on what people should say when making very small talk.

To the bolded: who says that?  Sounds totally made up![/quote]

If they ***ask*** WHY, then sure, you can give your answer.

But if they simply ask, "Is it a boy or a girl" and you go much deeper than "We're not finding out," and drone on and on about surprisssses and how some thing in life should be a myyyyyystery, then check yourself. It's not that deep. They're just making conversation. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics