Reply to Dating Divorced Older Men

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]OK, so, you remember the 1980s when there was no internet dating, and you had to approach women in person and ask them out? Did you not date back then? It's no different now. Except hey, you are now far more mature and experienced, and have experienced in-person rejection many times, so it is no big deal if the woman says "sorry, not interested".

Approaching women in public without seeming "creepy" is a skill that can be learned, and I suggest you learn it. Not hard, I promise![/quote]

I did date back then.  I am also dating now and I found that, wait for it, it is 2019!!! And in the brave new world of online dating, women can approach (e.g., message, etc.) men.  On Match.com, women often let me know they are interested which is, and should be, empowering.

It is no big deal when a woman tells a man she is not interested. The same holds true when men do not ask a woman out, even when she believes she is attractive, is very fit, etc.  If you are woman who is not getting the number of dates you want you should to do something different in your social life.  However, offering men advice on how they should approach women is not that "something".[/quote]

If you, as a man, sit around and wait for women to approach you online, you will wait a long time, and the quality of the women who approach you will not be as high as if you met them in person.

What you need to change, most of all, is your mental state. You think approaching women in the "wrong" place like Safeway will lead to trouble. This is the kind of mentality that [i]actually will lead to trouble[/i] (or at the very least, lack of success) for you, because women can smell the stink of your "I know she's going to think I'm creepy and reject me" anxious mentality a mile away. You should get yourself into a mental state such that you believe that you are a great guy and it's perfectly OK for you to approach women anywhere. This will even help you in your interactions with women whom you have met online.

It should not be a surprise to you that women are attracted to confidence. Sadly, it's obvious that you don't have it.[/quote]

I am the fit 50-year old woman who suggested that men should feel free to approach women they like, preferably after having talked to them a few times to establish some rapport or connection, and ask them out IRL.  I am not, however, the woman who is going back and forth with the man in the above-quoted post about how men can acquire the skills to ask out a woman IRL (or, who as the immediately previous poster joked has "some mad sexual tension").  We are two different women who are making similar points in our own manner, but rather differently.[/quote]

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