Reply to accepting that sister doesn't like me and we will never be a "family"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you've got a lot of unrealistic expectations here.  Your sister *was* busy this weekend - she apparently had plans with neighbors.  Of course you weren't invited - [b]they have a group of friends, and you aren't automatically in it because you are related to the group.  Y[/b]ou admit you aren't close, you haven't been close, you don't have much, if anything in common, and you don't really like each other.  Given all that, why on earth would you expect to be included when she is getting together with her friends?

Moreover, if she works 60 hours a week, she's got limited time to do errands, etc., on the weekends.  Based on your description of your relationship, why would you think she would prioritize you?

Finally, if you are getting your idea of how a family should act from TV shows, that says a lot about your connection with reality.  [/quote]

OP, I don’t agree with the above poster. I have a sister, four years younger, and I would absolutely invite her to any large social gathering that didn’t have a strict guest list created by someone other than me.

I’m sorry you don’t have that kind of relationship with your sister. I don’t think it’s cultural, I think it varies from family to family. But like others, I’d encourage you to go out and look for friends who want deep close bonds - the kind of people who throw Friendsgiving and stuff like that.[/quote]

Same here. My sister even invited my best friends to her wedding - and I invited her best friend and the best friend's entire family (parents, siblings, spouse). However, we are close and see each other weekly. OP and her sister do not have that relationship, never have, and it can't be forced, it needs to be built from the ground up if the sister is receptive. It doesn't sound like she is right now, but perhaps that will change if OP continues to reach out and extent no-pressure invites. Maybe someday soon she will accept a low-pressure, short park playdate and find that she enjoys the company of her sister and nieces/nephews more than she expected. I'm sorry you are hurting, OP. 
 [/quote]

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