Reply to accepting that sister doesn't like me and we will never be a "family"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]OP, you want people to be kind, but it seems like you are not hearing.  [/b]What you describe as “just wanting to hang out” and having your kids “join the fun” is probably not as easy as it seems, particularly if these families have a long pattern of impromptu interaction.  You are awfully judgmental about how your sister *should* have spent her weekend.  I don’t know if she is nice or not, but build your own life and quit obsessing about how she is supposed to fit into your plan.
[/quote]

+1
You keep insisting that it would be so easy for her to include you, because her time with the neighbors is informal, that she wouldn't have to host you, etc.  But she's friends with those people.  They have a history and pattern of informally hanging out, and they get along, the kids get along, they likely have similar parenting styles, etc.  It's *not* easy and relaxed to have people over that you don't get along well with, that have different parenting styles, and that would change the dynamic.

If she didn't have kids, would you even care that you weren't invited?[/quote]

You may see it as informal, but I bet she sees it as a Whole Thing to host you, with the fraught relationship and the baggage and the different family styles, and the fact that you guys don't have an easy, casual groove already established.  Given how you describe her weekly schedule, she probably just doesn't have the bandwidth to take all that on.[/quote]

Not only that, but the neighbors can always head home into their own house in a matter of seconds. Sister doesn't need to worry about having to provide food or snacks or having her house be in order. Hanging out can end in an instant if a kid is cranky or something changes - everyone is steps from home and can leave instantly. OP and kids are visitors who will need to be fed and watered. Who will stay for a certain amount of time. OP and sister are not close so sister will feel the need to play host, may feel judged if things are messy, etc.  [/quote]

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