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[quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't actively discourage my son or daughter from pursuing any particular field, but I would encourage them when choosing a career to think about their interests, their strengths, and what kind of life they want. Do they want to work 80 hour weeks like my physician father, who rarely ate family dinner but did see us kids on the weekends? Do they want to have a 2 working spouse family like me and DH, who share work, parenting, and household chores pretty much evenly? Do they want to stay home with kids, and if so, how do they plan to finance that and make sure they can support themselves if anything happens to their partner? I think these are reasonable things to talk about, along with general education about life, finances, talking about not getting pregnant without a partner (for DD) or getting a woman pregnant unintentionally (DS), etc.

My kids are both under 6 so at their current stage it's just about their interests, but my son has already talked about having children and I have told him it is something grownups do after they are married and have a job! Starting small here. But I can certainly see having these discussions in another few years.

My own father, who still works crazy hours at 75, discouraged me from becoming a doctor. And he was right to do so because while I am interested in science and medicine, it's not where my natural talents lie.  Recognizing that, he encouraged me to become a lawyer, which I did, and I initially worked crazy hours for a few years before deciding to take myself out of the rat race and take a more flexible (and lower-paying) job with the government. I think my dad is still a bit disappointed that I didn't shoot for partner, but I am very successful at my agency and pursued an upward path while pregnant and raising small kids, so I am satisfied. I am at the top of the heap in my "B" job and as a type A personality, I'd rather be at the top of a smaller hill than in the middle of a larger one.

At the end of the day you have to be happy and what that means will be different for each person. I wish I made more money -- doesn't everyone? -- but I know the trade-off would be not seeing my kids, and neither DH nor I is willing to do that.[/quote]

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