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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can't recommend for or against a feeding tube for your child but we fought like this for years and when my daughter was 10 and still only weighed 39 pounds and was the size of a four year old, we made the decision as a family (including her) that she needed the assistance of a feeding tube to get enough calories.

It has helped so much.  She still eats by mouth, whatever she wants, but she has grown and gained 15 pounds.  She's around 53 pounds now at 13, and still terribly petite, but we no longer worry about her dying from any infection or illness.  She gets an overnight feed and there is not so much pressure on her, no more screaming fights about what she ate, no more worry that if she has a fever and loses 1 or 2 pounds someone will call CPS.

And your child is 11.  She is going to inevitably hit puberty, which means a growth spurt.  Her body cannot keep up with that growth spurt.  You are running a race against time.  So I see so many positives in a feeding tube.  There are many myths about tubes -- the child will forget how to eat (not true); infections (no).

This is something that could really help normalize your child's life.  The posters recommending bananas and cheese and so forth have no idea what it is like to have a child like this.  If bananas and chocolate chips worked, she wouldn't be this thin.[/quote]

Thank you. I know the posters with food suggestions are trying to be helpful. I really wish that’s all it took. Maybe with DD’s cooperation, bananas will be the magic bullet. Her involvement is critical, and has been a missing piece, but even that is complicated. What if she tries her best and still fails to thrive? Does she then feel like a failure? At what point do we take back the reins? Damn this is hard.[/quote]

I'm so sorry OP - this response of yours brought tears to my eyes.

I hope her therapist can help her address this - that she has a medical condition that she's tried her best to do everything she can, but she needs more help.  I know that can be hard to accept.

I don't have any other advice or experience - I hope the BTDT stories have been helpful and wish you and your daughter and family the very best.[/quote]

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