Reply to DH simply doesn’t respond when I talk

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH simply doesn’t respond when I talk "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why are you asking if you should go to the park? Did you want him to come with you? Just make a decision and leave.[/quote]

This is what I was thinking. Why can't you just make a decision?  You're an adult with a marriage and child but you can't decide if there's time to go to the park or not? COME ON!  You sound indecisive and naggy. I wouldn't want to answer you either.  JUST DECIDE.[/quote]

NP, same issues. What you posters don't understand is that OP is not seeking permission to do an activity.  She's trying to make plans for the family.  If she takes the older kid to the park, will DH watch the baby?  If not, she needs to prep both kids for the park.  My husband does this ALL.THE.TIME. because he'd rather me handle all the parenting work.

So OP could decide for herself that she'll go to the park with the two kids (bc DH isn't communicating his own plans) and then she has to do all of the work and DH gets a few hours to himself.

This adds up too - so if the DW ends up making all the decisions (bc DH won't communicate), then DW is cast as a controlling harpy that won't let her DH have a say in anything.

Ugh this thread is hitting too close to home.[/quote]

We understand.  This is when OP waltzes out with the older kid and tells DH that she and Larlo will be back in an hour.  Larla is upstairs napping and he needs to get the chicken in the oven while they are gone.[/quote]

Op here. I’m not sure I’m following. I could have just made an announcement to DH and left, but I would still need him to respond and say something so I could be reassured that he understands he’s on baby duty and that I have the other kid.

[b]This conversation wasn’t me just trying to chit chat with my DH. I want our marriage to be a democracy and for him to have a voice. This was Sunday afternoon and it’s his weekend too-I wanted his input. Even if his answer was that he didn’t care, or that he thought it would be better not to go, etc.[/b]

We both work during the week so weekends are precious to us both and there’s never enough time.[/quote]

You sound exhausting.  I'm the PP that said I finally just had to tell my DH that I just didn't want to discuss everything.  Your DH probably wants to say the same, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings.  Hear me please - you do not have to discuss everything.  Your DH is showing you he isn't interested in discussing everything.[/quote]

So you think a route to a happy marriage is one party just unilaterally making all the childcare and other household arrangements?  Ok.  [/quote]

No.  What I said clearly was that I had no desire to discuss [i]everything[/i]. I didn't say I didn't want to discuss [i]anything[/i].  Clearly, OP and her DH have different ideas of what needs to be discussed.  Everyone has things they believe are important.  When those things match up, you discuss.  When they don't, the person who thinks it's important makes the decision.  Obviously, you have to trust that your spouse wouldn't make a decision that would be detrimental to do this.

Some things we discuss:  where to send the kids to school, summer camp, finances
Some things we don't: what TV to purchase (DH deals with this), who is taking the kids outside to play (both of us do this - sometimes the other gets an invitation, sometimes they don't), dinner (this is mainly me - I will occasionally ask what someone in the house wants for dinner if I am in a rut)[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics