Reply to unplanned pregnancy - fourth kid potentially

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[quote=Anonymous]As a fourth child, completely neglected by my mother, I would advise you to think about the child, rather than the impact on your marriage/relationship. Of course the state of your marriage will affect the child, but even if your marriage remains solid, will you give your fourth as much attention as he/she deserves? Most people find having a fourth child is easier because the oldest is old enough to help. Well, in my case, the oldest had psychopathic leannings and I am still suffering from my parents' absence in my life. The oldest can never replace a parent. I often wish my mother had aborted me -- why bring a child into the world if you cannot guarantee your own love and presence? To this day, my mother thinks I owe my sister big time for taking care of me while mom went out partying. But she never accepts that she herself neglected me. When people hear details of my life, they are often shocked that my life has been so different from my siblings. I was not physically abused by either parent (but I was by my older sister and then told to "turn the other cheeck" and become like a wall) while my mom was in a different country for months! My dad was amazing, but he died young. I'm sorry if my thoughts seem disconnected -- this is a topic really close to my heart and my eyes are tearing up. Please, please think about what you can give your child, not what the child will bring to your life![/quote]

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