Reply to Does anyone worry about "bad genes"?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This was a priority for me when choosing a mate. "But I love him" was just not in my family's vocabulary in terms of using 'love' to overlook actual problems/issues.

I'm an RN and patients all say I'm so loving and accepting, a supportive cheerleader of all things. This is true at work- it's literally my job. But not in my spare time.

I did not want to have/create a family of patients to care for so I chose a mate with family members who are attractive, healthy (BMI, physically active, no addiction), lifelong learners (good memory/cognition), problem solvers with good hustle (ie not complainers- if there is a problem, they fix it), no learning disorders (ADD/ADHD etc) and with no mental health/social issues. I was lucky to have a healthy family and I picked the family that 'felt' like mine. DH said the same thing. Different races/nationalities/religions but those things weren't issues for us.

Met/dated some great guys, watched their behaviour, met their families and noped my way out of those relationships. Wish them well but they deserved women who would accept the issues and I knew I wouldn't.[/quote]

I know you'll get flamed for this, but I think it's very prudent. Finding a suitable spouse cannot be just an emotional process--"love is all you need!"--logic has its place in the process too. Finding a mate and having children are two most important decisions in one's life and should not be entered into blindly.

[/quote]

No one is saying that “love is all you need. It’s easy to scrutinize others’ families for genetic defects while claiming, as PP effectively did, that no such issues exist in her own family. That’s unlikely.

I have more respect for posters who are honest about the role of their own genes. [/quote]

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