Reply to How to deal with family member who has been accused of sexual abuse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. The victim is now an adult, and I don't think she's going to press charges. There's no forensic evidence. My husband does support the victim but he's also desperate to find some solid clue to indicate either the guy did it, or didn't. [b]He seems to be looking for some other reason she might be saying this.[/b] But I'm not seeing it.    I believe and support the victim.  I know there will never be an answer. [/quote]

Then your DH doesn't support the victim, sadly. And this is why people don't come forward. [/quote]

+1. Spending more energy on the hunt for other, more unlikely reasons for a 'lie being told', instead of believing what is likely based on a child's words is the problem. This would kill the survivor to know this denial/investigation is still going on.

For people like your DH, they would need to be in the room to see it. And even then a large % of people would look the other way. If he doesn't want to throw out the relationship with the abuser he needs to realize that he is doing exactly that with the survivor. His 'not choosing' is actually choosing- against the survivor of the abuse.

I don't see how anyone with children can err on the side of extending a benefit of the doubt to an abuser.[/quote]

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