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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So he’s 45ish, still has a 150k in student loans, makes 180ish max, thinks he should get to retire, but you’d have to go work FT to make $$ since he thinks he can stop making $$, and his time at home would all “me time” spent gardening and he wouldn’t cook or clean or do laundry or go grocery shopping or take the kids anyplace or give them snacks because he’s too “disabled” for that and it interrupts his “me time”? Damn.  How desperate were you to marry a doctor??[/quote]

That doesn't even remotely reflect what OP has been saying in this thread.  Did you even read the thread?[/quote]

Yeah it does. Everything comes from OP’s facts. What part is false?[/quote]

I never said he wanted to retire. Or that I’d have to go back to work FT, although I was considering it. DH wants some kind of change- either a different career, job, or less hours than he’s putting in now (which ranges from 45-60 a week). I’m positive he’d say he’s perfectly capable of cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, shopping, and taking care of the kids, and he’d say I’m the crazy one with impossible standards that only wants it done a certain way. Except I really don’t. But I’m done beating the dead horse and would rather just do those things myself or IF I go back to work, hire someone else to do it.

Truth be told, nothing catastrophic would happen if DH would take over those areas. We’d have grey, smaller, clothes, a dingy dusty house, but with a lot less stuff because it would all be thrown out, and we will probably get sick a few times (but not die) from his food, and the kids might have less friends and activities but a closer relationship with him. But he’s not the one who is unwilling to take care of these things if needed, I am the one who prefers that he doesn’t. And I really don’t want to argue with him anymore about why towels and sheets need to be laundered more than once a season or why dusting is even a real thing.

And he’s not just going to scale back if we’re not in a financially good place to do it.  We also disagree on what that means- in the area of funding retirement. He thinks once the kids are grown, we’ll have half the expenses and will be able to live on $50k a year. He also keeps saying we are better off than the avg American, but I don’t think we should be setting that as our goalpost. We are having a meeting tonight to discuss our financial picture to look at what our options are. This is huge for us. Ive never been able to get him to discuss finances with me without him only dedicating 5% of his attention on the subject or just leaving the conversation after 5 minutes of “uh huh’s“. [/quote]

If he goes to PT (or do you mean just to a normal 40 hour week? In that case a NIH job would be a good place to start).

But chaning fields, 20 hour work weeks, etc all mean precipitous drop in income, and likely loss of health insurance. Which would mean you would likely need to work FT just to make a dent in the loss of income. If you want to replace $180k income with two entry level jobs, PT probably isn’t in the cards.  What is your career field and history?

If he just scales back to a 40 hr work week, he can earn $120k as GS14.

If he works 55 hr weeks now for $180k, yeah that’s a bum deal. But he’s a GP? That’s how it is these days.

He sounds willfully incompetent, like many DH can be — curious about how he grew up?

Really you need therapy for both, financial planning to boot, not career advice.

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