Reply to Son doesn't want to come home for Easter because we won't visit him in his new house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Been married to my dh for 21 years and we moved away from MIL around the 10 year mark. She visited once in city #1 for a couple of days (we were there 5 years). We’ve been in city #2 for 6 years and she finally visited last year for 36 hours after my kids begged her bc they wanted to show her where they live. Needless to say, we visit several times a year and it costs us $$ because we stay in a hotel instead of her house. [/quote]

No, it's' not "needless" to say; you do need to say it, and maybe explain it to those of us who aren't complete doormats.

My parents live 10 hours away by car/2 hr plane ride away. We visit them once, maybe twice a year. That's what we can afford, money and schedule-wise. They visit us maybe 2-3 times a year, as they are retired and have the money to pay for only 2 plane tickets vs. 4, etc.

If they didn't visit us at all, we would still only be able to afford visiting 1-2 times a year; again, our travel money and our time are finite.

So if you can afford to visit "several times a year," and want to do that, that's great. But you are making a CHOICE, so don't complain about it. You could choose to not visit as often, and if they complain, you can say, "You are always welcome to visit us."[/quote]

Actually, it’s more like 2-3 times a year and yes, it is a choice but not one that dh and I would prefer to make. However, even though their grandma shows very little interest in them, our kids still want to see her. Because we love our kids, we won’t deny them even though we very much limit our time with her on our visits home. And, of course we have other people to see, so it isn’t like she is the only one we travel for. But when she complains that she only sees then 2-3 times a year, she knows she has an open invitation to come here. And, yes, kids could go visit by themselves but don’t want to bc after one dinner they remember what a terrible grandma she is (the judgment, etc) that they are glad we limited the time. It’s a vicious cycle. [/quote]

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