Reply to Estrangement Doesn't Just Happen to "Bad" Moms

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Estrangement Doesn't Just Happen to "Bad" Moms—It Happened to Me Too"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I believe the person who doesn’t go out of their way to air their side of a personal relationship publicly. There’s something wrong with a person who does that. [/quote]
They do that out of the same heartache as a death.
Millennials need to understand how relationships work and how to communicate. Estrangement is epic in this generation and it is usually a daughter or son in law that draws a line in the sand. I've heard a ton of stories as to why someone thinks  their MIL is toxic. They don't know what toxic means.  [b]Any comment is misconstrued,  ever thought,  and taken personally...and then the family is cut off.[/b][/quote]

I’d argue that people are finally starting to demand to be treated better.  Being a MIL doesn’t give you a license to say horrible comments.  In previous generations women were expected to just take it.  Sorry but no one is treating me badly.  People make mistakes, but continue to insult me and cause trouble and yes, you will be cut off.  [/quote]
Or maybe someone is the type of person who needs so much validation that they read slights into everything. That is what  I see. I know someone who went to a craft store with her DIL. Mil carried the baby, and saw a friend. The friend said to the MIL, who knew there was a new grandchild,  " Is that the new baby?"  Mil said " Yes! It's our new addition!"
DIL made her apologize later that night , with the husband/son in tow to watch, for the word  "our."  " It's not YOUR baby!" She was angry, and crying, that Mom used the word "our." SIL, husband's sister suggested that DIL might be overtired.  The entire family has been cut off . It's been years.  No contact.  There are more stories like this. Don't ever assume there is always the "right" one and inlaws or parents are always monsters.  [/quote]

I'd bet a million dollars that the MIL had been acting like its equally/partially her baby up to that point, and it was that behavior and not the particular words that day that caused the estrangement. Like the MIL complaining that she doesn't get to see "our new baby" enough, for example. The fact is that it's not her baby at ALL unless the parents of the baby want that to be the case.[/quote]

+1. This is just one example of the MIL overstepping boundaries to steal the spotlight. How many others are there? It makes no sense that the entire family was cut off for one not-huge issue. This story that they don't understand why they're cut off but they're blaming the DIL is the hallmark of a dysfunctional family. They just don't want to admit why.

Postpartum is a very emotional time and it's for the parents, especially the mother, to bond with the baby. Everyone else is supposed to support the couple by doing errands, cooking, cleaning, etc. The baby is the mother's turf. The MIL should have been more careful not to overstep. It's also unbelievable that there wasn't more to the story.[/quote]

+2 And the SIL's comment about being 'overtired'?  Yeah, why not just tell her to 'calm down'?  That's always good at descalating things.   :roll:   I have to wonder, though, where is the DH in all this?  Are his fingers broken and he can't call/text?[/quote]

This story to me seems to reflect a lack of respect and sanity in both sides.  Perhaps MIL and DIL are both drama queens- people always marry someone who reminds them of a parent.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics