Reply to NYT: 30 somethings still being bankrolled by their parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who had no help applying to college (and making financial decisions about college), and no financial help from my parents after turning 18, this article is kind of rage inducing. [/quote]

Nah.  It’s totally worth being an independent adult whose major financial successes have been entirely on her own.

A lot of times money comes with strings.  I have pseudo wealthy parents who could pay for things if I asked them.  But I would feel like a loser having my parents pay for preschool, our downpayment etc.

Many of the friends whose parents still pay for things have marital problems as a result.  Money is rarely free.  [/quote]

This is you trying to make yourself feel better.  Lots of people get help with down payments, yearly gifts, etc.  Often there is a solid relationship there.  My parents gave me a large down payment and I didn’t even ask for it.[b]  If there were strings I didn’t see them and they certainly weren’t visible to my spouse, and definitely not a source of tension.  [/b]And I didn’t buy an extravagant house, I bought a regular house and don’t have a mortgage.[/quote]

If my husband accepted help from my parents or his I’d consider him a loser who couldn’t support his family.  I would never admit this to his face but deep down I’d feel this way.  He’s be emasculated if my parents wrote us heck’s or gave us a downpayment.  Luckily we make enough money that we don’t need help from our parents.  You might think your spouse doesn’t care, but he or she may feel differently.  [/quote]

DH comes from a culture where family help is accepted and understood. His parents had less money to give but also helped us with our wedding and down payment. The family is an organism and a unit and parents want their children to thrive.  We have been lucky to have a marriage where we have one mind on financial matters.  Without family help we would not have been able to have children as early as we did, and DH’s mother passed away when our son was 6 mo.  If we had been going it on our own, we probably would have not had children early enough for her to see them.

Your respect for your DH sounds like it has a lot of strings, which is sad.  I love and respect my DH no matter what because he is my husband, whether rich or poor.[/quote]

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