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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone in a similar situation to PP have a story for him of something that actually worked? Not what seems like it ought to work, but real life success stories? By similar situation, I think a couple of the critical variables are:

1. Kids are beyond toddler age. (So we know it's not just because little kids are exhausting & post-pregnancy hormones).

2. Long period of limited sex -- i.e. less than once a week.

3. Relationship is more than, say, 5 years (so we know that novelty isn't the solution). [/quote]

Yes. Ultimatum guy here. It totally worked. My wife often thanks me for the wake up call. But even if she’d headed out the door, I would still call it a win for us both. [/quote]

what men like OP and various female critics don't seem to understand is that the very act of manning up and laying down that ultimatum--i.e. sex is a necessity to have a marriage, and you and your needs are NOT "an option"--is a sexual turn on to a woman--that is, if she has any remaining spark of interest at all.  Or as you say--a "wake up call."

Men like OP read too many relationship books written by and for women, that simply don't work.

The bottom line OP is that if you want sex from your wife, you have to tell her that, very clearly, and indicate what [b]consequences you will impose on her[/b] and the relationship should she continue to be non-compliant.  As PP said, if that mean the end of the marriage, it would still be a win for both parties.  She would be free to have no sex, and you would be free to have sex.  Win win.

[/quote]

Wives are neither children nor pets. If you're treating them that paternalistically, maybe we know why you're not having any sex.[/quote]

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