Reply to How hard to find a 1/2 time boyfriend in early 40s?

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Reply to "How hard to find a 1/2 time boyfriend in early 40s?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] I say that I’m not interested in marriage, but am ideally looking for long term exclusive.[/quote]

[b]I am curious both why you want it, and why you think a man should agree to it.[/b] If you don't want to live with him, commingle finances, or have him meet your kids, why do you care who else he sleeps with? And how would you even know if he did?[/quote]

There are men who don’t want to be with every option of vagina that is available to them, you know.  The idea of two people who decide to have sex exclusively without all other strings (fully integrated lives)  isn’t rare for a lot of emotionally mature people. They both just need to be honest with each other and make sure they are on the same page. Every man/woman isn’t struggling with whore tendencies to screw everything that passes. Two people can make whatever kind of relationship they want.

OP is wounded from her past. She isn’t ready for all that. She’s being honest about where she is.

I do think a FWB is the better alternative for her. Though that isn’t exclusive. But I get the sense that with everything else OP is saying, she might flex a little over time with the expectation of a man (or herself) exclusively  cutting all others out for the Little she wants to give.

One thing people who’ve been married understand before is compromise. [/quote]

None of this answers the bolded questions. [b]Why should she care if he's not committed exclusively to her? And why should he agree to be exclusive with her?[/b] [/quote]

She and he might care about decreased infection risk. Some things are easy to treat, some are not. Condoms aren't perfect, even though they help a lot.[/quote]

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