Reply to what do you do when the children know about the affair and are upset about a reconciliation?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP.  Lots of replies and I'll read them more carefully in the morning.  Right now a few quick answers.

It's a family therapist, not a pastor.  Not that I don't think a pastor would be a great help, too, we just don't have a church right now.  I am a Christian, and prayers are appreciated and are certainly flying around the house.  I'm not sure I totally love the therapist right now and am trying another one next week.

My DH has apologized to both girls, profusely, specifically addressing the eldest.  I think some pps have given specific wording that might be more helpful, though, to ensure she feels validated.  I'm not trying to sweep anything under the rug.  I'm furious, he knows I'm pissed.  He understands the girls are pissed.  This is new territory, trying to fix a marriage, respect kids' feelings, and balance what's best for everyone.

I have considered having DH move out and it's not completely off the table.  I will bring this up to the therapist and see what she thinks will be best for the girls.  There are a couple things holding me back, but neither are totally unsurmountable if this is the best for everyone.

Thank you again to all who are being helpful and sincere, I really do appreciate your insight and ideas.[/quote]

Your husband may have apologized, but that doesn't mean your daughter is ready to forgive or to live under the same roof as his again.  He broke her trust in him, and now she's being forced to live under the same roof as a person she does not trust or feel comfortable with, and she gets no say in the matter.  In that sense she's in a worse position than you, because while you were both betrayed, you got to make the decision for yourself about whether to stay with him.  She didn't.  [/quote]

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