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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So sorry. Try not to do anything right now. Just sit on it and wait for a bit. [/quote]

+1 Process it. Your mind is in a fog right now to do anything rationally and in your best interest. [/quote]

I am absolutely paralyzed. I have no idea what would be in my best interest. I feel so sad and pathetic. [/quote]

All natural feelings, you are going through trauma. Even wanting to make him hurt like you are now. If I were you, I’d ask questions until my gut was satisfied. Even if that meant asking the same ones in a different way or over and over. Dig deeper to get to the bottom of it. A counselor can help but their office my not be the right environment for the ugly conversations you and your husband may have.[/quote]

Thank you. I don’t know what the right questions are at the moment. I have big questions (why?!) and little questions (where are the rest of the condoms from the box?) and questions that make me sad to even think of.  Yes, there are financial reasons to stay together—we just bought our dream house and everyone is happy here, I make less money (though have a career)... yes, I love him...yes, I was happy and thought he was too...I keep thinking knowing the details will help me make sense of it, but every little bit is so hurtful and making me crazy. It’s twice as painful to be sad and hurt but also hate the part of myself that is so pathetic to ask these questions.  [/quote]

You’re welcome. There are no wrong questions. You should ask anything you want an answer to, and he should answer them completely and honestly. It may be helpful to write them down first, but I have a feeling once you start asking questions, one will flow into the next. And there may be some things you don’t want an answer to, and that’s ok as well.

I get a picture of what you’re feeling but how is he doing? Does he show remorse? Guilt? Does he want to remain married? Do not accept any form of blame for his actions. Stop him in his tracks if he starts down that road.[/quote]

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