Reply to S/O what do you gain from maintaining a a friendship with a man whose wife hates you?

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Reply to "S/O what do you gain from maintaining a a friendship with a man whose wife hates you?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Interesting how his wife Myst be abusive if she doesn't like you sniffing around her husband.[/quote]

Paranoia isn’t sexy.[/quote]

And being overly interested in another woman's husband is usually not a smart thing.[/quote]

I was friends with him long before she was the picture have no designs on him other than friendship. I’m sorry you’re so terrified your husband’s going to fall for someone else and leave you, but projecting your emotional issues on everyone else isn’t going to help.[/quote]

Oh, get over yourself.  He married her.  That's the person he's committed himself to whether you like her or not.  Judging from this post she probably has valid reasons for hating you.  You sound pushy and disrespectful towards their marriage.  If you really cared about your friend you would make more of an effort to be on good terms with his wife.  But I sense an "eff her" mentality on your part.[/quote]

I was married before he even met her, it’s not like I was sitting around hoping he’d fall for me.  I’ve never anything but kind and pleasant to her, her hatred of me is her issue, not mine.  Just like your emotions are your issue, not hers.[/quote]

So you'll continue to get together with him for coffee, drinks, whatever whether she likes it or not, right?  That is certainly your choice to make.  I just would not be comfortable seeing him under those circumstances.  If I did get together with him I would want my own husband and probably other friends around, too.[/quote]

Sounds like you know you can’t trust yourself around men.  That’s not true for everyone, but it’s good to know your own flaws and be careful with them.[/quote]

Uh, no.  But if my good male friend had a jealous wife like that I would go out of my way to avoid any [b]appearance of impropriety on my part.  [/b]I'm not generally a sh*t stirrer.[/quote]

But why are you catering to the “appearance” of impropriety if there is none?

If you have a security person following you in a store, do you suddenly leave, just because rhy were following you?
Would you pay a parking ticket, if you knew you were properly parked?
Would you pay a bill collector for a bill you knew want yours?

[/quote]

I would not do anything to purposely stoke jealousy in my friend's wife.  Obviously, she doesn't like it when you meet up with her husband.  You don't like her and she doesn't like you.  If she feels uncomfortable with the amount of attention that you are paying her husband, oh well.  Rightly or wrongly she doesn't want you two hanging out alone together like that.  I would personally plan to meet with the guy when others were around.

As much as you love your friend, you have no idea what kind of husband he is to his wife or whether or not he has been unfaithful.  He tells you a lot but he probably doesn't tell you everything.  He may be doing and saying things to his wife that are making her feel insecure.  Regardless, he married her and you should respect their marriage.

[/quote]

Okay, you people are really off your rockers.

I am not the gardener of my friend’s marriage. If he is making her feel insecure, that is between them. If she is insecure because of the air she takes in, that is between them. My relationship with either of them is my relationship with either of them. I may like her just fine, but she hates me because I was born with a vagina.

You know how I respect their marriage? By respecting my friend. He is a person with Choices, and we have a history. If he tells me his wife is jealous, but continues to contact me, I’ll follow his lead, because it is him that I have a relationship with.

A marriage isn’t about controlling or fixing another person. [/quote]

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