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[quote=Anonymous]This is NOT your fault, OP. There are so many factors, so many of which are out of your control. You are a good mom, and you have indicated that by caring and asking for advice. You've gotten some good advice here, but obviously be sure you get advice from those you value as well - perhaps your mom, other mom friends you trust, and perhaps professionals. You could have a meeting with the school counselor, without your daughter knowing.

One thing that might be hard is that your daughter is now at the age where plans are made independently of parents. It seems she may still need your help, but try to do so in a way that presents her independently.

I agree about activities, so much. It doesn't matter which you do, but activities make the bigger world smaller. For me, it was music (band), for others it might be a sport. I agree that trying sports for the first time with low confidence is not a good idea, due to the inherent "win-lose" context. So, non-competitive things might be better.

Also - look for new kids. This works better at the start of school. If your school has a "welcome committee" sort of thing for new families, have her sign up for it. Or, it may be that they have a "new student" orientation - have her sign up to help. Anything where she can meet NEW people. It's possible that through bad luck, she just doesn't connect with the people she's been around for years. Just one new child moving to the neighborhood could make all the difference, to both her and them!

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