Reply to S/O Why do you care if moms stay home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't have feelings about other moms' work/care situations until we get to the part of the conversation that goes:

[b]"Yeah, I felt it was really important to be there to raise my own child."[/b]

What am I supposed to do with that? It's not even about SAH vs WOH, it's about a high level of social cluelessness. Now that my child's older and goes to an urban public charter, the comment is "well, you know, we couldn't stay in the city because we needed a good school for Mortimer." [/quote]

The problem is that even if a sahm doesn't come right out and say this, which I would hope most wouldn't.  Truth is most of us share that sentiment. Working moms know this and of course the defensiveness is going to be there. [/quote]

So I guess we’ve gotten to the point where people are offended if you say this and also offended if you don’t say this. We really just need to deal with the fact that yes, some people think it’s really  important to have a parent at home, and yes, they would not choose the life you are living as a WOHM. They don’t want your life. Just like evangelical Christians would not choose your life if you are Jewish. Don’t be offended that someone doesn’t want your life. I’ve learned from DCUM that lots of people would rather die than live in my neighborhood, work in my profession, drive my car, and wear my choice of clothes. You live your life and don’t worry about them.[/quote]

I agree with this. I’m a SAHM to a toddler and I don’t feel it’s wrong for me to say I want to stay home with my kid and spend my time with him. I do it and I happen to like it. Not everyone does - my sister in-law couldn’t WAIT to get back to work and she goes on about how she doesn’t know how I “just” stay at home all day. I do feel her attitude or maybe just her phrasing is condescending, but in general I am completely fine with the fact that some parents do not feel the need or desire to stay home. If I didn’t want to stay home, I’d work and hire a nanny or look into daycare, and trust that those caretakers - who want to take care of children and are trained to- would do a good job.  Better than a mom who didn’t want to stay at home.

I realize I am lucky to be able to stay at home and that some women who work would rather be at home with their young children. DH makes 150k in DC and we are making it work with the rough plan that I will go back to work when DS starts school. [/quote]

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