Reply to Divorce over chores and WOHM

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Divorce over chores and WOHM"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What part of the house does your DH clean? If it is all on you, and he is wanting a minimalist house without the work of it- then he is [b]delusional[/b].

I agree that couple therapy is due and he needs to step up with 50% of the cleaning OR get over his reluctance to outside paid help.  You also need to hire an organizer to help you get rid of all the old kids stuff and organize the rest. [/quote]

OP here:  Yes, DH is delusional!  Thank you!  I’m the one who wants to stay married and not seethe and resent DH, so I’m trying to solicit how others might feel.  I seek to understand.  I also recognize I’m delusional...I just don’t “see”the clutter as a problem.

He does nearly nothing around the house as related to daily chores.  One of our biggest fights was over all the work a new baby requires.

Me:  Crying and yelling because dishwasher was loaded but wasn’t run and I have no clean bottles, after I asked him to do the dishes.  I  felt like I had to do everything 
 He: Why are you mad...I’m doing everything you tell me.  
 Me:  If you can’t figure out the baby needs to eat again soon and needs a clean bottle, washed pump flange, etc., then I am just too tired to even begin to explain.  Run the goddamn dishwasher on half cycle instead of waiting for a full load.[/quote]

I used to be married to someone who was a tidy non-cleaner, while I am a messy deep cleaner (wash and dry clothes, but leave them clean in the basket or don't make the bed but do sweep and mop the bedroom floor). My ex either happily did 20% or unhappily did 50% of household chores. I don't know what the answer is. I felt like so much of my work went unseen and somehow my spouse was able to outlast me when I went on strike and the ring in the tub got dirtier and the piles of lint under the bed got bigger. At one point shaming by older relatives helped temporarily "you really expect her to come home from work, cook, and then do the dishes!"

Maybe writing out tasks with time estimations and then dividing them, so you each have areas of work you are responsible for?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics