Reply to How long did it take you to stop hating someone?

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "How long did it take you to stop hating someone? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do you want to stop hating the person?  I'm not sure what benefit a person gets from putting so much WORK into trying to force forgiveness.

I suggest practicing radical acceptance, not forgiveness.  Accept that the person is worthy of your hate.  Accept what the person has done to be worthy of it.  And then try to focus on other things, not on forgiveness.  Focus on putting your attention elsewhere.

The only person I hate is my SIL because she emotionally and verbally abused my brother before his suicide, and she is now emotionally and verbally abusing my nephews and refuses to let us see them.  It breaks my heart that I can't protect them from her.  On the rare occasions that her mood changes and she allows us to spend time with them, I have to put on a totally false face and pretend that I don't wish that she would drop dead.  The effort it takes to dance the tightrope with her moods exhausts me for weeks, and yet I know that I have it easy because I don't have to live with her cruelty and capriciousness every day as the children do.

I don't try to forgive her.  What she did to my brother was unforgivable and what she is doing to innocent children is unforgivable.  How she treats me is unforgivable.  I can't help the hate, and I don't fight it.  I'm now working on acceptance and trying not to torture myself by putting my head in her emotional buzzsaw all the time in order to try to see my brother's children.  I feel guilty EVERY day that I can't protect them or be more of a part of their lives, but I can't.

What I don't expend emotional energy on, though, is forgiveness.  I don't see the point.[/quote]
CPS??[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics