Reply to I’m dying slow painful death of undermining from narcissist mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lower your expectations dude. Granny gives kid sweets, news at 11.[/quote]

Right like chill out lol[/quote]

OP, the thing about giving a bunch of sweets and buying precisely what I said not to buy would be a big deal in my house too.  I’m on your page.[/quote]

OP, I get it. Most of these posters have not lived with a truly narcissistic parent. There are different types of narcissistic parents - neglectful, controlling, smothering, etc. A controlling narcissist will invalidate all of your choices and decisions from the time you are born. You are not allowed to grow independently. I have a controlling, narcissistic mother. I had zero say in the clothes I wore, how my room looked, how I wore my hair, etc. Friendships were never encouraged because they were seen as a threat. My hobbies or sports were never supported. I could go on and on. It was a truly awful childhood never being able to express my true self. I wouldn't be surprised if OP grew up the same way. Now he finally has his own life, his own family, his own rules and this woman walks in and completely undermines him, as she has done all of his life in front of his only child. The sole purpose here is for the narcissist Mom to try to win favor with the grandchild through instant gratification. In a normal, loving relationship "granny giving sweets" is not a big deal but when there is a 30+ year history of having your feelings completely disregarded, it's something entirely different. You're damn right he is going to go nuclear. OP, I would go low or no contact with her at least for a period of time and consider therapy. Good luck![/quote]

This was exactly the mom I grew up with. 100% .
When I turned 18 I hit the ground running and I’ve pretty much done everything that I have wanted to do. Why dwell on things? I don’t tolerate any BS from her as I’m a grownup now, but I only worry about big things like her criticizing my kids and then I show her the door.[/quote]

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