Reply to He’s engaged to the woman he dated after me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It has happened to me, once in truly spectacular fashion. When my ex and I broke up he was saying he hated his life, his job, and was going to take a leave and go find himself on a beach in Thailand or something. It was not a total shock because he'd had issues with adulting before, was quite dramatic and got easily stressed at work, etc. It was one of the major issues I had with him/our relationship and partially led to our breakup as I was demanding he grow up/deal with stress better/stay in a job for longer than 18 months, etc.

What was surprising was that he stayed in his job, started dating someone else and was engaged to her 5 months after we split. He married her 4 months after that. I was mortified/humiliated/you name it. Had I been wrong all along, demanding too much in terms of him being an adult, and some other woman came along that he just magically wanted to grow up for? Everyone we knew in common was talking about it (I don't blame them - how could you not?) and I was so embarrassed.

Anyway, in my case, nope, I was not wrong at all. He quit his job (and quite proudly announced it) 5 DAYS after they got married. He was unemployed for 10 months while she paid for their European honeymoon, etc. When he did take another job, he lasted 3 months? In it. He's exactly who I thought he was, she didn't improve or inspire him to be better - she was just willing to put up with his sh*t and pay for it so he was smart to lock it down. I never would have put up with that kind of arrangement, so I'm where I should be - not with him. His wife I hear gets pretty embarrassed when the topic of his employment comes up in group situations and tries to change the subject, but that's her problem.

Moral of my story: OP, yes, they might be engaged now and yes, it hurts. However this is only the beginning of a long story. It doesn't mean they're going to live happily ever after and you won't. In as little as a year's time you could be thanking your lucky stars that this is how it turned out. [/quote]

Ex and new girl could end up very happy together. Why is the narrative that things go wrong for ex and the girlfriend important to you?  Life is long things can and likely roll turn for the better  for your ex.   Also, consider this all of us ooh and op included will likely be the “ new girlfriend “  by your logic we are all owed misery. See how silly that is? Op can be sad now but she  eventually needs to move on and not  invest in the idea that her ex will be miserable simply because he didn’t want to marry her.[/quote]

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