Reply to First X-Mas as blended family off to terrible start

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah, don't force it. Like having a new baby at 43 with a grandpa seems a little forced when you both have children. [/quote]

This! Sorry but true.[/quote]

+2. What I have been thinking all thread. WTAF OP?  You married someone 20-25 years your senior.  Brought two young kids into the marriage.  Then had a baby with him (with help?  Not always easy to get pregnant at 42 naturally).  And are surprised Holidays Chez Trump went badly?  Come on.  This was bound to go badly.

Also, if you actually want things to go smoother, PPs have a point. It must be tough that their mother isn’t there to be grandma, and now their dad has three new little kids to dote on, instead of his grandkids. If you actually want to find a way to make things better for your DH, then help him find a way to be more involved with the first round of kids and grandkids.  For example, maybe he could take each of his kids, and their kids, somewhere fun for a long weekend each year— Disney, NYC, etc.  As the grandkids get older, have them come to your house for a few days in the summer, and give their parents some time off. They can get to know their half/ step grand siblings and also be sure spend some one on one time with their grandfather.  Everyone there at once is impossible demands on your DH’s attention, and setting it up to fail. [/quote]

Disagree. Why must OP be burdened with making family relationships easier for her DH? [/quote]

OP doesn’t HAVE to do anything. But I suspect her having a third kid and his 4th when they are likely 20 years apart in age and he already has grandkids, but she has young kids, is being driven by her, not him. If she loves her spouse, and wants him to be happy, she might consider putting in some extra effort beyond what she MUST do to help her husband back to firmer footing with his kids.   Which is no greater burden than making a suggestion, and not making him feel guilty about the time and money he spends on his first round of kids and grandkids.  And possibly hosting grandkids in the summer. Which face it— is what grandmas like OP chose to become do. [/quote]

Nothing to suggest that OP begrudges her husband spending money on his kids and grandkids. [/quote]

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