Reply to Depressed, and upset ..boyfriend broke up with me and I think his mother was the reason

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.[/quote]. You are not a nice person. I bet life in the US will provide you with all that you deserve. [/quote]
Exactly. Especially the part about “playing grandparent” to a kid you are not related to. How awful! If PP views children and other human beings with such contempt, and this is actually ingrained in her sad culture, then maybe she doesn’t belong here and she should go back to whatever lovely garden spot she hailed from. We don’t need anymore assholes here.
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Many societies are hostile to the concept of expending valuable resources on people who are not your “blood” relatives and this is even enshrined in some religious texts and is partly the reason adoption is prohibited in many countries.  It is also the origin of the concept of the “evil stepmother.”  Blended families are the result of a fairly affluent society where taking care of someone else’s children ultimately does not threaten the survival of your own.  I have met a lot of people with pp’s attitude; it’s pretty common.  Some of you live in a bit of a bubble.[/quote]
I’d rather live in my bubble than in those ass backwards societies.[/quote]

I’m not defending that particular attitude; I’m just saying that it is common and has a logical origin.

People are different and the flip side of those same societies is an intense loyalty to family and making sure that no one is left behind.  The same people who you are looking down at think that many of our attitudes are backwards and inhumane too.  The idea of “cutting off” offensive family members, or letting a sibling or cousins suffer through hard times without offering all the support you can, would strike these people as cold and backwards.

I’m not saying it’s great to be hostile to single mothers or something (I was raised by a single mother btw), I am saying that automatically calling a society “backwards” because of a single attitude perhaps shows a lack of understanding of our own society’s weaknesses or what other people might consider backwards about us.[/quote]

You guys are so funny criticizing the foreign PP when you agree with the OP's ex-bf's mom. The PP wasn't saying about condemning single moms, just looking down on them...this is a very common attitude in 99% of the world where people don't have three baby daddies. Get some perspective.[/quote]

Agree with this too. People in other countries know that having a child on your own doesn't set the kid or the mom up for success. It's not something to be encouraged or to be seen as progressive.[/quote]

One of my close friends is a single mom and she managed to go to med school and become a top doctor while a single mother. Her daughter is lovely, intelligent and confident. 
It’s more a class thing where OP isn’t so smart, but her BF and his family is. She’s not even curious about learning new things or working at anything very hard . This is just going to be a mismatch. It’s symbiotic really. [/quote]

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