Reply to Anyone have three kids and consider themselves ambitious/ in a competitive career?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, if you can make this work, I will envy you. I was super ambitious, Ivy League educated and was killing it. I married a fellow go getter. I became the default parent. Now DH has a prestigious career, makes the big bucks and works on cutting edge projects. I live a wonderful life full of my children. I tried for years to juggle work life balance and ultimately stopped working. I had a nanny, cook, cleaners, tutors, music teachers and back up babysitters. This was when I had just 2 kids and I felt I outsourced too much childcare. My heart just sank when my kids would ask why I didn’t come to their class party. I hated being stuck at the office when it was gorgeous outside. [/quote]

Your husband is not involved.  That is the issue.[/quote]

He is involved on weekends and non-working hours. My children have a great relationship with their dad.

He has done a few doctor appointments but never went to school events during the day. He would call in for parent teacher conferences. His career has soared though. He probably earned 800k when I stopped working. Now he is making $2m. I don’t think he would have gotten there if he left work early or rolled into work late everyday.

I am sometimes resentful. Maybe it would have been better if we both had flex jobs and he earned 500 and I earned 200. [/quote]

Yes, I think "not involved" isn't the right way to describe your husband. Sounds more like he was unwilling to let his career come second so you could have a turn, though. In most couples I know where the woman has maintained a star track, the husband was willing to backseat for a while during the intensive years of young children so she could keep up the pace. If the man is not willing to do that then 9 times out of 10 the woman ends up cutting back eventually to PT or quitting. I have seen it happen so many times. My husband and I discussed this explicitly before marriage because I wanted to know where I would stand. [/quote]

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