Reply to Anyone have three kids and consider themselves ambitious/ in a competitive career?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Anyone have three kids and consider themselves ambitious/ in a competitive career?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone is talking strictly about time here. As someone who used to have a “big job” and is married to someone who still does, I think the bigger issue is stress, mental energy, exhaustion, and patience.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks, you articulated a big part of it. Beyond the stress, there’s a level of creativity and intellectual energy that goes into my work. I would say that so far having kids has enhanced that but it is largely because we maxed on the help. I’m not 100% sure that is the balance I would have wanted had I not been at a make or break point (tenure track).

Anyway, this has been an interesting thread. Maybe because DC based it seems most ppl are considering career in money terms, not other kinds of contributions. Like Obama wanting to be a leader or, I dunno, a scientist wanting to make a breakthrough. I wonder how compatible that is with a bigger family.[/quote]

I became pregnant with number 1 at an odd time in my career.  I was still able to progress, though, and put off having DC2 for 5 years.  When I had DC2, I modified my hours.  I was still able to remain in my "fast-track" position and maintain my reputation, even having shorter hours, due to all of the face time and work I had put in during my earlier years.  I had DC3 a year and half later and my life completely changed.  I didn't want to be on the "fast-track" anymore.  I didn't want to have to pay a nanny to work 60-70 hours a week.  I didn't want any of it anymore.  It wasn't about the money. It was about my mental energy and time.  I wanted to FINALLY focus on my family.  My job just didn't cut it anymore.  So, I quit.  I became a SAHM for 4 years.  Then, I found a position that would let me telework after 6 months of office time.  I will never get promoted. I make just enough to justify working.  But, my life is so much better.  My younger kids don't feel the effects of having a working mom, because they don't have the SACC issues or commuting issues.  I'm always there.  I think the only person who is disappointed by my choices is my dad, because he loved getting behind all of that ambition and drive I had.  But my family comes first and I don't regret quitting at all.[/quote]

OP here. Sure, there are ages and stages for everything. I have felt more torn at times than others -- that's mainly why I worked a lot from home the first year of both of mine, so I could nurse and see them more often. Overall, though, I think our kids will need us for a lot of things. This is a very personal thing, but I feel like I can give them more if I maintain my own growth and creativity than if I were to simply spend all my time keeping the home and parenting. I know other women feel differently and get the intellectual stimulation and creative output they need as SAHM. That's great for them, but it's not how I was built. I am still not quite sure how to get the balance right but I feel that working is part of it, and for the career track I'm on there aren't any off and on ramps. It's up or out. Very hard for women, of course.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics