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[quote=Anonymous]Originator of the list again.  I think it's interesting that I'm being called absurd and much worse, but there's no clear consensus emerging about which items on my list most parents don't do.

And, yes, these tasks are mundane and trivial.  That was my understanding of the default parent concept--those thankless tasks that don't often figure into a big account of the work of parenting but nonetheless need to happen.

My list was prompted by the OP's very straightforward accounting for a division of the big tasks of parenthood.  She asked if she missed anything.  I listed things I've done recently.  If OP and her husband could look at my list and say "nah, we don't need to do most of that stuff--don't care about birthday parties, don't have grandparents to navigate, wouldn't want to give teachers gifts," then that's cool.  They don't have to worry about who is going to do what.  I can also imagine other ways that conversation might go.

And, yes, the lotion was probably too absurd out of context.  I happen to have a kid with severe eczema, so it's been a long journey of creams and lotions and bathing routines to find the right balance that keeps his flare ups in check (and avoids infection).  If I were OP, I would want to think about whether my husband would pay attention to this developing skin care routine and do his part of it in the mornings.

Of course, OP's kid's thing won't be eczema; none of this stuff is predictable.  So, in OP's case, if she wants to re-invest herself in her career, it's important to know that her husband will step up to whichever these challenges or inconveniences emerge.  In short, can she settle in to work in the morning, knowing that her husband will routinely get their kid to daycare without interrupting her to ask, "which lotion do I use this morning?"[/quote]

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